Witness to life

A remarkable thing about being a twin, is to have the experience of someone who has always been a part of your life. For my first seven minutes, before Kaye was born, I was alone. That is all I have ever experienced of being alone. That is not to say, that there have not been times when I felt alone…that I was aware that I was on a leg Of my journey that I had to travel myself… But Kaye was never far. She was aware of my joys and my struggles and my sorrows. She was there to listen and to encourage.
You think when you marry, you will have a partner for life..that may not be true. My husband of 30 years is gone. The memories and experiences we shared have fallen silent. I do not share the evenings with him to reflect on those times. I am making new memories with my new husband. New times, new memories. Who do you share the old times with?? Your twin, who remembers. I have other very precious sisters. We share memories too. But my oldest sister lived some life before us. My younger sister has lived a different life as we were grown when she was small. I have children that I love, but they hold their own memories, and have grown and moved on with building their memories. My twin is my one life long witness. We understand each other, support each other, laugh together and cry together. She is one person that I do not have to finish a thought with, or struggle to explain how I feel…she just knows.

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6th sense

Being an identical twin is as close to being another person as you can get. We share happiness and we share sorrow…we feel it before we know about it. My daughter was born with spina bifida and required 11 surgeries by the time she was two. We lived out of state away from Ohio during those years.
Most of those surgeries were emergency shunt revisions; we could wake up one morning, and then be in surgery by noon. On one of those events-pre cell phone days-Kaye was on her family vacation skiing.I couldn’t get ahold of her to let her know. When she got home she immediately called me to ask how Kristen was. She said she was going up the ski lift at 10:00 Tuesday and just knew something was up with us, with Kristen and felt she’d been taken to surgery. That is the exact time and day of Kristen’s surgery.

Language

Kaye and I had our own language until we were about 4-5. Our sister, who was just one year older, was our interpreter. I wonder how many times she might have said “oh, they say they want to go to bed” when perhaps we said we want a snack! Actually, we are very close. We are a family of 4 girls whom love each other very much.
Kaye and I still make up words…we just don’t realize they are made up. They are often combinations of words, or completely created. Of interest, we lived many miles apart from each other (California and Ohio) yet when we moved back to Ohio, we discovered we had the same vocabulary!

John Lennon

“Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans”

Life events

Sometimes life events are acute (occur suddenly) and sometimes they are chronic and the struggle lingers….either way they change you.

Twin: alike or different

One of the fascinating things on being a twin, is how often we are so very identical in actions, thoughts, behavior, and yet different. Over time Kaye and I will share those twists as we encounter life

Life challenges

Sometimes I wonder when we make an agreement to come to this earth, if we were able to request some special circumstances. I am an identical twin. When Kaye and I talk about our lives, we are certain that they were intended to be shared. Having a blog is hard to decide where to start writing. On how to cope? On encouragement? On how to recover from religious criticism? Perhaps I should begin by listing some of what we have experienced:
Multiple relocations
Child born with a crippling birth defect
Husband with life chancing diagnosis of bi-polar
Loss of job
Crisis teen pregnancy
Child in drug rehab
Son served in Irag
Divorce after 30 years of marriage
And these are the few that readily come to mind. Yet, we are happy, well established in careers,often find ourselves encouraging others, and still enjoying life.
What kept the bitterness at bay?
Perhaps the greatest challenge for us, was that we each, at different times came to the conclusion that religion was not there to help us. In fact, it brought only judgement. Perhaps you have gone through some of these and have also faced faith issues. Tis is a blog to freely tell your story, receive open dialogue and travel your journey